Being a BUm isn't FUN!

Today, I'm stuck here at home doing nothing. As you can see I'm pretty much guilty with what I have been doing with my life. I'm stuck in this place for more than a month and it doesn't feel good anymore. When I left Convergys I felt relieved because I don't want to feel sad because at my job. I went home felt that I am already at peace because I have my family with me. This is my comfort zone but how come now I feel that I'm a prisoner at this place? I can't seem to do anything productive at all. I want my life back.

NU 107 bids farewell. :'(

Today is the first day without you in my life. Today is the first Monday in ages that I didn’t have to drag myself out of bed to make it to the station before 6 AM. Today is the morning after what seemed like the longest goodbye I’ve ever had to endure.

You were an unexpected part of my life that came to be one of the most significant. I never thought you would come to mean as much to me as you did. I came to you at an unusual time in my life. I don’t think I even knew who I really was before I met you. I knew you as a big part of the lives of people close to me, people who grew up with you. You were a stranger to me all those years ago. I always felt a little undeserving to be associated with you in any way. 

As soon as you took me in, I felt like I arrived home. I was welcomed into a family that would never judge me, never tell me I had to be a certain way just to be accepted, never expect me to conform to any preconceived notion of the kind of person I was supposed to be.

Growing up gay in a conservative Catholic home wasn’t always easy. I blame myself for putting up walls over the years to keep my own flesh and blood from getting too close to me, out of fear that they would never understand who I truly am, or accept who I want to be. It’s still a struggle sometimes to fully feel at ease with showing my true self to the very people who have known me since before I could even speak.

Yet it was with you that I truly found my voice. Through the people you surrounded me with, you taught me how to believe in myself, and to let go of the fear that stifled and paralyzed me for far too long. Through the music you filled my ears with, you connected me to roots that once felt foreign to me, to a history that, in however small a way, I am now proudly part of.

I always said I would only get a tattoo if something truly meaningful happened to me. For years, I had this specific design in mind because I’ve always loved what it signified. There are a variety of interpretations for its symbolism, but my favorite one of all is that of the cyclical nature of life: for every thing that ends, something new always begins. It is my tribute to every single person who has touched my life during my days at NU: from the artists who have shared their time and tireless creativity, to all the listeners who have shared my commitment to loving the music that binds us all.

To all the people who I have laughed with, shed tears with, moved to the music with, spent sleepless nights with, and to those who paved the way for us to stand proud as the last songs played before static filled the airwaves, you know who you are and you will always be a part of me. 

The ink is beginning to even out. My skin is slowly starting to heal. And so too will the painful memory of saying goodbye to a place that was once a home to all of us. I will do my best to honor what that home stood for by living fearlessly, wherever life takes me next, whatever new cycle I find myself in. 

Thank you for all the memories. I will carry their mark on me always.

--- this was posted by one of NU 107's djs. I will miss NU so much.

these are some of the pictures I had taken from the last day. (November 7, 2010)

this is the last song played on the air.. Reminding me of my wonderful childhood memories. Long live NU. :'( hanggang sa muli.

Kamukha mo si Paraluman
No'ng tayo ay bata pa
At ang galing-galing mong sumayaw
Mapa-Boogie man o Chacha

Ngunit ang paborito
Ay pagsayaw mo ng El Bimbo
Nakakaindak, nakakaaliw
Nakakatindig balahibo

REFRAIN 1
Pagkagaling sa 'skwela ay didiretso na sa inyo
At buong maghapon ay tinuturuan mo ako

CHORUS
Magkahawak ang ating kamay at walang kamalay-malay
Na tinuruan mo ang puso ko na umibig na tunay

Naninigas aking katawan
'Pag umikot na ang plaka
Patay sa kembot ng bewang mo
At pungay ng 'yong mga mata

Lumiliwanag ang buhay
Habang tayo'y magkaakbay
At dahan-dahang dumudulas
Ang kamay ko sa makinis mong braso, hooh

REFRAIN 2
Sana noon pa man ay sinabi na sa iyo, hoh
Kahit hindi na uso ay ito lang ang alam ko

(CHORUS)

La la la la, la la, la la, la la la

Lumipas ang maraming taon
'Di na tayo nagkita
Balita ko'y may anak ka na
Ngunit walang asawa

Tagahugas ka raw
Ng pinggan sa may Ermita
At isang gabi'y nasagasaan
Sa isang madilim na eskinita, hah

REFRAIN 3
Lahat ng pangarap ko'y bigla lang natunaw
Sa panaginip na lang pala kita maisasayaw

(CHORUS 2x)

CODA
La la la la, la la, la la, la la la [2x]

My eye opener.. :'(

Mothers

are

"God's

angels"..

sent

to us

to know

things

we

never

knew

and teach

us how

world

works..

never

miss

an opportunity

to make

God's angel

HAPPY..

tell them

how much

you're

grateful

having her..

And

ultimately,

love your

God's angel

twice yourself.

Mahalin po natin

ang mga NANAY

natin anu pa man

ang mga kapintasan

nila at maging

sino pa man sila..

'Twas a quote sent to me by Timothy, my bestfriend. His mother passed away last Thursday October 28, 2010 due to a complete heart block resulting to a cardiac arrest. I was personally asked by my bestfriend to accompany him during the wake. I went there a day before just to check on him. I was so shocked knowing that a week ago we were still talking about how his mom is doing with her dialysis, he said it was still in the same  he is still the one taking care of her and he is getting tired of doing so. I scolded him and told him it's his mom he's dealing with and besides it will be a some sort of practice for him since it is related to our field. And so the unexpected happened, I went there to comfort him for a bit after getting my license, I was stunned to know that I was his only companion for the day. I stayed with him for almost 5 hours, I did not want to leave him because I know he is hurting and he needs someone to talk to but I know I'll be the one to be scolded by my parents if I don't go home. The following day I witnessed thw wake and the cremation process for her mom, during the mass I was crying so hard, I felt so scared. Not only because I know that my bestfriend and his family are grieving but I was scared for my parents, for my mom.. I can't imagine my life without her. I know she has her flaws but that's what sets her apart from other mothers, she molded me  into who I am now. Sometimes she does have this mood swing which I don't understand. But I know she has been loving me unconditionally for the past 21 years, accepting me from all the wrong things I did. I want to make up for everything that she has done for me. I really realized a lot from what has transpired yesterday, I don't want to lose my mom.. I love her so much and I would even give up my life for her.. :'( (now I'm crying again.) sobrang takot talaga ako.. wag muna Lord please? Marami pa akong gustong gawin para sa family ko, sa parents ko, para sa mama ko. I want her to be proud of me. haaay.

My deepest condolences to the Abenojar family, I know that Mrs. Yolanda Abenojar is resting with God in heaven now. I hope that God will continue to guide and strengthen her family specially in this ordeal.